How to Notice the Clues of What You ACTUALLY Want in a Purposeful Life

guest post by Lydia Lee of Screw the Cubicle

One of the first things I hear all the time from people who can't quit a job and lifestyle they hate is this: "I don't know what I'm REALLY good at and what I am meant to be doing, and if I knew what to do next, I WOULD quit!"


I can relate.


I said the same thing when I was lost in my own world confusion when I was struggling to figure out the next big move in my career. I knew all the things I detested about my corporate job and lifestyle. I could tell you 101 things I knew made me sad. I knew all the things that I DIDN'T WANT.


But then once I shifted my thoughts into thinking about what I DID WANT, all of a sudden it went from despair to possibilities.


       Funny how a shift of perspective can do that to you.


So if you are someone that was like me, where you could spit out exactly what you didn't want anymore, congratulations! This is amazing. If you know what you didn't want, then you sure as hell know what you do want.


Then I get comments from people like, "I don't really know what I want. I can't pinpoint exactly the thing I want to make me happy". And that's fine! Happiness can't be defined all the time as ONE thing, or even a few things. In every stage of our lives, different things makes us happy. Sometimes new ideas we never thought of makes us happy, and we never knew about it until we did it. Like for example I detested the idea of hula hooping because I wasn't good at it, and therefore it won't make me happy. And then I tried it. Hated it and tried it again. And now taking 10 minutes in between work sessions to hoop in the lawn makes me über happy. Who knew!

What I did notice about happiness for me, is that even if it shows up in very different situations or events in my life, there were significant patterns. There were common themes that are happening in those times I was feeling happy, in alignment, in flow, and in synchronicity. These common themes can bring me very specific clues as to where I want to go to follow my purposeful path, which also helps me figure out ways I can have a purposeful career and lifestyle.


This is also part of what I do when I coach my clients in the initial stage of figuring out what they are meant to do with their lives. At this stage of their lives. At this moment of where they are and what they know about themselves.


We've all lived through numerous events and life experiences. Life is busy. Life can be a whirlwind at times. This makes it hard for us to sometimes remember or take notice of specific times that did bring us bliss and flow of ecstatic happiness. The simple moments in life can be so simply delicious, that we may also not notice this because we are always looking for that big "A-HA" moment of absolute happiness (we always want it bigger and better).


So let's start with some things I want you to think about, to see the clues that have already been in your life so far.


This exercise can give you some insight on what your heart already knows you want. And then what you do with that knowledge will be your choice.



1. When are the times in your life when you've felt most passionate?


2. When are the times in your life when you've felt most fulfilled?


3. List the things to which you're consistently drawn to. What about 

them draws you?


4. You have lived to a ripe old age and you are lying on your deathbed. You look back with satisfaction over a long, fulfilling 

life. and you feel satisfied and fulfilled because you did or was what?


5. You have won the lottery and all of your financial needs are 

handled. You spend a year traveling, buying expensive toys, and having fun, and then get bored and decide it’s time to do something meaningful with your newfound freedom and resources. What do you do?



After you've taken some time to answer these questions, start looking for common themes that may come up. Were majority of the times filled with a certain type of emotion? Were you doing certain things that were occurring often? Are there certain action words that come up a lot in the answers (i.e. I am "helping"..., I am "running" on the beach)?


Then think about the outcome of the answers that you provided. What happens when you are "doing" these things? For example, if I felt flow of happiness when I was travelling in Thailand in 2012 and spending time with locals, the outcome words I would use to describe that event was "adventure", "culture", "connection", "humanity".


After doing this process with each of the questions you answered, you may notice some common themes and patterns that come up. Write them down somewhere you'll see often. To remind you that these are the things that are important to you. These may be things that are clues for what you must have to incorporate into your career and lifestyle. It is your way of being.


The common themes are the things you want in your life and will be clues that have already been in your life so far.happy if you had MORE of it.


So then the next step is figuring out how you can have more of it :) And this takes action.


Once you know more about what you ACTUALLY want, it will be much clearer to design a roadmap of action to get it. But before you can even think of strategies or a plan, you must know this first.


You can start by taking my FREE course to start the discovery process of knowing the essence of who you are, an awareness of the gift you’re meant to share with the world, and your ultimate “WHY”. What do you have to lose to know more about yourself?


Click here to access the WTF Am I Meant to Do With My Life course




To living your highest purpose,



Cubicle Crasher & Adventure Seeker

Lydia is the Cubicle Crashing Ninja at Screw The Cubicle, where she helps awaken purpose and help free corporate prisoners from the 9-5 life.  Her mission is to connect adventurous changemakers with their true path so they can live in passion and lead meaningful lives.  She's obsessed with travel, exploring human potential, and has a trucker mouth when she's excited. Lydia enjoys having the mobile lifestyle with her business and currently lives in Bali.

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Comments: 3
  • #1

    Lana (Friday, 07 July 2017 03:28)

    Great article! I love reading about all those who spend their time travelling from place to place with no base. I love hearing their stories and how they go about full-time travelling, but I know that I couldn’t do it.Purposeful travel is definitely my favourite way to explore! Thanks for sharing your thoughts :)

  • #2

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  • #3

    Desert Trips Morocco (Sunday, 19 November 2017 16:57)

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